Because I’m Not Myself, You See

This has to be one of the most powerful, raw books I have had the honour of reading. This memoir is Arianne. Arianne as a partner, a sister, a daughter, a mother, a ballerina, an employee, a mental health patient and a stat.

Postnatal depression is 1 in 7 new mothers. Postnatal psychosis is 1-2 in every 1000 mothers. 600 per year. And not enough is done. Not enough is done to support these women.

Arianne’s story is hard to read, it’s raw, it breaks my heart, I’m crying, sobbing. Thinking about how this could have been me. Could be anyone and we don’t know. The deep suppression of feeling that new mothers feel. It’s real. It’s the lonely days and nights, the hard time feeding and feeling like you are failing by giving them a bottle (I say fuck the haters & do what works for you; also easier said than done). People offer help but nothing is right. You get angry. You don’t want a coffee, you want a load of washing done. But you don’t really know if that’s true. I have felt all of these feelings. And Arianne felt the deep deep cycle of this psychosis. It’s traumatic. It’s an illness.

This is a powerful memoir that I recommend to anyone who has been around a new mother. If one little thing from this personal journey can help someone else, it’s a step in the right direction. I see you Arianne and I thank you for reliving this trauma for us. I see your struggle. I’m opening my eyes to see more of you who struggle. There is help. Start with COPE.

Thank you Arianne - this will forever sit with me.